理想,工作及其它
October 2, 2005 on 8:34 am | In 2006 |这个国庆过完,就开始上课,大四了。刚开始,我还在想考不考研,因为工作不好找,可是我发现对学术并不感兴趣,我也可能不适合干这个。毕竟,我对维特根斯坦家里有七架钢琴比对《逻辑哲学导论》感兴趣得多,这种八卦禀赋倒适合去当娱乐记者。我也知道,发在一件事情上的考虑时间不能太久,不然这件事便难以办成,比如睡觉。所以,我又很快想好不考研了。不考的话,我便需要找一份工作,今天我把签名也改了---我在找工作。
对照一些名人,好像他们很早就知道自己要干什么,或者立志要干什么,我发觉自己好像没有,只知道一直在考试,考试是过去生活的主题。简单地说,我属于胸无大志的人,可事实上,我胸口上有颗痣,而且还挺大,这一点女朋友可以作证。其实我也有理想的,我的理想便是当一名文字工作者,可当我看完一些文字工作者的资料后,发现,他们看了好多的书,这一点让我望尘莫及,惟一值得安慰的是,我还年轻,而他们都不再长青春痘。
尽管不知道自己将来是什么样子,并不意味着你可以不折腾,怀特海说过:“在中学阶段,学生伏案学习;在大学里,他需要站起来,四面观望。”大二的时候,没有女朋友,课很无聊,文科阅览室还没有消失,那里是我喜欢去的地方。我经常趿着拖鞋进去,当时管得不严,不像现在,发觉脚步声有点不对,立马出现一大妈把你喝住,眼睛流露出的光芒似乎在说:“小样,新来的吧?”。在那里的一些情景我印象深刻,有一天下午,我在一个旮旯里找到一本署名无名氏的小说《塔里的女人》,那是一个很好的故事,如果拍成电影,或许会像《活着》,我看着看着睡着了,接着又醒了,这样的故事过于悲伤,书有点厚,我也只能睡一觉才能继续把它看完。还有一次,看的是是奥威尔的一篇散文《射象》,写的是他在缅甸当地方长官,有一天,有一只大象跑到村里,踩死了人,村民们蜂踊而出,他也带了枪出来,与大象形成对峙的局面,所有的村民都把目光投向了他,他本无意射杀那头大象,可“身后几千人的意志在把我向往前推”。我不知道为什么对这一情景印象深刻,可能有时也能感受到许多人的意志在推着你,而你本无意做那件事。
后来,文科阅览室和文科的美女一起搬往了新校区(当时阅览室里并没有文科的美女,你不用怀疑我去那里的用心),我只能浪迹于理科阅览室。这期间,我把所有网页制作方面的书都看了一通,现在想起来,其实许多也不用看,它们只是把帮助文档换成另外几个例子再说一遍,而看完这些书并不能提高你的水平。最明显的便是现在计算机书籍中像头皮屑一样多的关于flash的书,每当软件推出一个新版本,便会冒出像"龙马工作室"这样你从未听说过的人在写书,把帮助文档用另外一套语言组织起来,你无法从中学到真本事。显然,这是出版制度的问题,出版商太急于赚钱了。扯得有点远了。
写这篇的目的是提醒自己要找工作了,都说大一是理想主义,大二是浪漫主义,大三是现实主义,大四是批判现实主义。用李敖在演讲中提到的话说,我要务实一点了,其实一直挺务实的。
那么,我的工作在何方?
sike的语言生动风趣,很有可读性。
Comment by yuyu — October 7, 2005 #
我们都是同自己赛跑的人,为了更好的明天拼命努力,前方没有终点,我们永不停息……
Comment by sunnocean — November 30, 2005 #
[…] 另:继上次有女生问我“听说,你胸口上有颗痣?”后,又有人说我最近写的东西一点也不好看,有点心智不清而且有打肿脸冲胖子的嫌疑,明明没读几本书还要在那文绉绉,我承认,因为最近在做的事与毕业要做的基本没什么关系,而我却还得为此抓狂。或者说,blog是个屁,谁都别装b。那这句话本身呢? […]
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